Here is the first sneak peek from Jenahra's book, I Wish I Could Be The One. This book is going to take you on a ride! Enjoy!
I just need to know you’re okay. I know you may not be in a position to talk, but if you are, please call me.
I sat in the tub, listening to my smooth jazz mix and sipped on some wine I’d gotten at Jasper’s liquor store. While I said to Tiffany that I wouldn’t commit adultery, doing that very thing was on my mind. If I was going to go see Carter, this week would be the perfect time to do it. Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, I called him. “Hello?”
“Hey. I’m sorry if I pried too much earlier. I just… I don’t wanna lose you again, Nahra. You’re so special to me, always have been.”
“Thank you, Carter. I appreciate that.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Have you thought about me at all?”
“Yes. He broke my phone that night. I lost all my contacts because he forced me to get a new number. But I thought about you a lot. It got less over time, but I never completely stopped.”
“That makes me feel good. It lets me know that this thing isn’t one-sided. I just wish I could see you.”
“What are you doing tomorrow night?”
“Nothing. Are you tryna come see me?”
Suddenly, I was nervous. Did I really want to do this? Hell yes, I did. God was definitely going to have to forgive me. This was wrong but I could no longer deny myself happiness. And somehow, I would have to make it right by eventually being Carter’s. I wanted to be his. But maybe I needed to feel what it felt like being alone for a moment. The desire to leave Joseph was so strong now. “I can’t carve out much time, because I don’t want Jacob… my son worrying about me. He’s a senior in high school and tonight I found out that he knows more than I thought he did about my relationship with his dad. But… I can meet you halfway. Depending on where you’re located.”
“I’m off 1960. Maybe we can meet in Atascocita. What made you change your mind?”
“Okay. I miss feeling desirable. And I need it more than I ever imagined I did. The sad part is I didn’t realize how much I needed it until you showed up.”
“Unless it’s something I can’t help but speak on, I won’t try to force your hand. I know I said I don’t wanna be a side nigga, but I’ll take whatever you’re willing to give me. Real shit. I just wanna see you.”
I sat up in my water and Carter grew silent for a moment. “Are you taking a bath?”
“Yes,” I responded softly.
While he didn’t say a word, that small acknowledgement of what I said, caused me to lay back and close my eyes, imagining how he used to digest my juices like it was the sweetest thing he’d ever tasted. “What are you thinking about, Jenahra?”
His voice had deepened, and I swore the water was starting to boil. “Sinning,” I said then chuckled.