The first unedited sneak peek from The Rebirth of Noah is here! This is the update some of you have been begging for. If you haven't preordered yet, here is the link. amzn.to/3BMPsO3
Remember, if you have not read the necessary reads before this one, you will be lost. Go back and look at my previous blog about it. Enjoy the excerpt!
When I walked inside, it was completely quiet, which was a sure sign that the papers had been delivered. Jackson was usually running around here like it was a playground. Noelle typically retreated to her room, unless she was helping Jah with dinner. It was dark like no one was here. That was when I saw the light on in Jah’s office. It switched off, and she was making her way back to the house with papers in her hand.
She’d wiped her face and then scratched her neck, a telltale sign that her anxiety levels were high. Instead of feeling sorry, I felt angrier. Why didn’t she see this coming? I was becoming miserable in this marriage. I wasn’t happy and hadn’t been for a long ass time. That was why I had to make the hard decision to let go. I sat at the bar to wait and as soon as she walked in and closed the door, she stared at me for a long while. I was waiting to see what she would say. She looked devastated. Well, now she knew how I felt every time we argued.
She finally handed me the papers already signed. “If I could string the words together in my mind, I could voice how I feel. I just don’t… I can’t—never mind. Here... you’re free, Noah.”
She seemed so nonchalant, and I was everything but. I was angry, and this only added fuel to that anger. I set the papers on the bar. “So you’re telling me that I fought with whether to do this for months, hoping things would change, and you could decide in a few minutes? No words to say that maybe we could work this out. Nothing. A’ight. Guess I made the right decision.”
She looked down at her hands. “What can I say, Noah? Did you forget who you married? I’ve felt your distance for a while now. What could I possibly say? Anything to make you change your mind? No. I felt the change, Noah… and there was nothing I felt I could do to change it. You know how much I love you, but I can’t force you to stay… or love me like you used to.”
I chuckled, but it wasn’t because anything was funny. Her explanation only irritated me. “So you felt it all this time but never questioned why.” I nodded. “No, I don’t know how much you love me. I haven’t felt your love in a while. I love you more than I used to, which is why I’ve been enduring for so long. There is plenty that could have been said or done to change this. You didn’t even fucking try. Maybe Pastor Kevon was wrong about us being made for each other. I feel like you forgot who you married. I’m mild and lowkey until something changes that. It seems like this turned into more of a business relationship than a marriage.”
I was doing my best not to raise my voice. I didn’t want the kids to hear us. “Try to do what, Noah? To convince you that you made the right choice? Please tell me what I was supposed to do. I’ve been Jah the entire marriage… nothing has changed about me. God, I wish I would have never become your manager then maybe I wouldn’t be losing my husband. Then again, I probably would because a lot of this has nothing to do with me.”
“When I married you, I never questioned if I made the right choice. I knew I had. I didn’t start questioning that until that bullshit years ago with that nigga. You’re right. Nothing has changed. You’ve always been Jah the Boss. But guess what? I would have liked to see Jaida Lewis Charles more often than when we were making love. That was the only time Jah the Boss took a damn break. So this has just as much to do with you as it does with me. You ain’t innocent. You never see yourself, and that shit has gotten old as fuck. I can make boss moves too.”